Princess Sophia’s Etiquette Course

So, in order to maintain a healthy lifestyle for our Princess Sophia, we have developed some rules for her. I have established that I am a bit ridiculous.

Princess Sophia’s Etiquette Course

Princess Sophia all too frequently channels her royal lineage and likes to think that she can get whatever she believes will satiate her at whatever time is convenient to her. Sadly for her, this type of behavior is unacceptable and thus, she is on a rigorous etiquette training program. In order to present her royal highness with the most luxurious and comfortable surroundings, it is key that some vital points are followed both by her servants and her royal highness.

1) While the 1543 Castle may be under the Princess’ domain, her access is currently limited, until she becomes more familiar with the surroundings. Main access points to take note of are a) her royal throne, located in the Westward entrance of the castle b) her formal dining room, located center castle and c) the royal suite, located in the West Wing of the castle.

Along these lines, for the time being, the Princess must be guarded at all times while not in the royal suite. This means that she must be wearing her necklace of jewels, with restraints attached (collar and leash). She should remain near to you at all times, so that she does not have any accidents.

The one exception for her not needing to be held tightly is if she is resting on the royal throne and she permits you to sit beside her.

2) Princess Sophia feels most comfortable in solitude while resting. Thus, the royal suite is where she is to be both at night hour as well as at any point during the day when she is left alone. The Princess often puts up a fight when she is forced to excuse herself from company, but if she is gently lifted into the constraints of the suite, she will be most agreeable.

As is the case with any true princess, she can also be put at ease with good, hearty delicacies. By placing a handful of high quality lamb, or a few baked treats inside the suite, she will be happy for hours. From time to time, she will whine and complain once she is locked into the suite. This is common, and it is best to simply ignore her, as she will stop.

An important note is that Princess Sophia DOES NOT respond well to yelling or loud scolding. In order to keep her at peace and to enforce her etiquette course, you must not scold her or yell at her in hope that she will quiet down, as she will not.

As the castle can be a big, scary place for the Princess, when leaving the building entirely, be sure to place Her Highness into the royal suite approximately 10 minutes before departing.

Similarly, when arriving to the castle, please wait approximately 10 minutes before permitting her to vacate the suite.

When all of the servants in the home are ready to fall asleep, Princess Sophia enjoys returning to the suite, and will sleep soundly all night. Just remember, she may put up a fuss from time to time, but with proper kindness, she will behave properly.

3) Dining. Princess Sophia is a difficult and picky eater, but the chefs are on strike and refuse to serve her anything other than her previously chosen lamb meals. As she is rather thin, for the time being, the goal is to get her to consume between 1.5 cups to 2 cups of food per day. This boils down to approximately 1 cup in the morning, and 1 cup in the evening.

To form proper eating etiquette, you may present the Princess with 2 windows of eating opportunities in the formal dining room each day, and 2

Princess Sophia on the prowl

only. These times should happen 1) in the morning after she has been taken for a stroll around the castle grounds and 2) in the evening after she has been taken out for another stroll.

Each meal, you may have to introduce the dining choice to the Princess, and allow her to make her decision as to if she will accept it or refuse it. Either way, after pointing the meal out to her, if she refuses to eat, allow the royal china to be placed in the dining room for no more than 30 minutes. At this time, remove it, and she will have to wait until the next eating opportunity.

The goal of this is to force Her Highness to dine on a regular schedule.

Please do not allow Princess Sophia to dine on food other than her lamb that is specifically intended for her indulgence. Other such foods may be appealing to her at the time, but in the long run they will bring her no good.

4) Snacking. Upon arriving to the 1543 Castle, Princess Sophia is no longer permitted to enjoy bon bons. But, her new hors d’oeuvre of choice are the fresh baked snacks that have been prepared for her. She is permitted to have these in special occasions, but not limited to:
-When she is being kind to her servants
-When she quickly relieves herself on the castle grounds
-To entice her to be comforted in the royal suite
-She obeys commands

5) One of the Princess’ largest difficulties is understanding where it is acceptable to relieve herself, and where it is not. Point blank, she previously came from a vile environment where she was permitted to live in as much filth as she wanted. This is no longer, and the only acceptable place for her to relieve herself is outside of the castle, on the castle grounds.

She enjoys walks around the grounds, going through neighboring streets. There are many grassy patches that she can use to relieve herself, but often chooses to do so directly on the cement paths. She also has a tendency to enjoy marking her domain on any litter that is along the grounds.

As far as the royal bowel movement, this is something that does not currently happen frequently enough. Often for her to do this, she must be out on the castle grounds for up to 30 minutes. You must be firm at times and stand still in a grassy area and prohibit the Princess from distracting herself with other peasants that are nearby.

6) Social etiquette. The Princess loves her servants dearly. And really, she enjoys any servants, even if they are not hers. On the other hand, though, she is often skeptical of peasants on the street, especially of the furry variety. While this trait is worked on more closely, for the time being, it is in Princess Sophia’s best interest to avoid interactions, and prohibit her from chasing after any peasants that are likely inferior.

7) In case of accidents. If you notice that the Princess is being lazy and wanting to relieve herself inside of the castle, please abruptly clap your hands to stop her, and take her out on the castle grounds. Once she relieves herself on the grounds, it is customary to present her with one of her prized baked goods.

8) As the Princess from time to time has some internal conflict surrounding her new etiquette training, she may try to flee the castle or surround premises. To prevent this from happening, she must be restrained firmly with her jeweled necklace and restraint leash attached.

Similarly, if someone arrives to the castle, she may try to run to the entrance foyer and attempt to sneak out when she thinks no one is watching.

9) It is important to once again note that the Princess should not be yelled at or loudly scolded. This will do nothing to help her achieve progress in her etiquette course, and will just confuse her and cause more poor behavior. Just keep in mind that if she does have an accident in the castle, or tries to misbehave, the situation just needs to be quickly altered, and the proper behavior must be shown.

Her memory is often short term, and scolding her for past behavior will not help her. Strive to show the Princess the right way to behave, and praise her for expressing proper forms of etiquette, but do not confront her or yell at her when she acts out of order. It is acceptable to distract her from the bad behavior by quickly calling her name or clapping your hands, but after the initial distraction, strive to fix the situation.

10) The primary caretakers of Princess Sophia can be reached at any time via textual messaging services, or via telephone or electronic mail. The contact information is:

Duke Christopher Prince Regent Gabriel

In cases of emergency, her primary physician is: Dr. Dan Teich at City Paws DC

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2 responses

  1. Oh, I don’t like Teich that much. I much prefer Bowman or Hamilton. But maybe he’s more of a dog person anyway.

    I really enjoyed the thoroughness of her rules.

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