You Had Me at “Free Continental Breakfast”

How many times have I done it? Stayed at a lackluster hotel/motel/flea-bag because of the golden words “free continental breakfast?” A lot.

And I can complain about a lumpy bed, or my “free hbo” not really working or limited water pressure. I’ll complain, but I can usually get over it, if I am travelling on a budget, which I usually am. I go back to the line my mother (who likely will comment on this) used to say when we’d travel “how often are you in the room anyway?”

Strawberry, pineapple, blueberry smoothie = better than "free continental breakfast."

Room, shmoom, I say. But when you are talking free breakfast, all I hear is sweet, sweet dirty talk coming from your mouth. Let’s even face it, most of these advertised bonuses are well, not that flattering. Some frozen bagels and hard boiled eggs. Maybe some powedered milk to top over your store brand corn flakes. But IT’S FREE!! The free high fructose corn syrup-filled breakfast may not be special, but it’s enough to tide me over until lunch and enough to justify me spending more money on drinks later that night.

You can call me pretty easy on the included continental breakfast. But then there is what I always thought to be the holy grail: the warm buffet. The waffle iron (you know the one. The one with the little cups of batter that are never enough to make a full waffle, but you make one anyway) the danish, the eggs and some sort of meat that is uninteresting. If you thought I went crazy over the hard boiled eggs, just try me with a waffle iron. Try me.

How many Holiday Inn’s have I opted for because of their great waffle maker campaign? A lot. But I am here to tell you today how my mind has been blown — at least enough for me to consider changing habits… at least sometimes.

This past weekend I stayed at my first ever bed and breakfast. The name should have told the whole story from the get go. A bed and breakfast, served to you by a cute little lady in a cute little house. But I always steered away. The more I think about it, the more I think it was out of fear. I mean too often these cute little places are out in podunk USA, home to uber-religion, guns and closed minds. I don’t even want to think about how I would act if my boyfriend and I walked into a bed and breakfast and encountered any of the negative associations I had with these places.

So for fear of an uproar, I always stayed away. I stuck with my chain hotels where I always had a corporate customer service line to call and complain to if I ever faced a problem. Try complaining  to Bertha and Ned at Podunk USA B & B, won’t exactly work the same.

Put my negativity aside. Really. I mean, at least for a second.

For Gabe’s birthday, we went out to Virginia mountain country and stayed at one of these B & B places. I hesitated, but changed course once I found Purple Roofs. I mean, their website sucks, but their content is very useful. Many of the listings on the site luckily are less gay-friendly and more gay-dollar-friendly, but that’s ok, at least we have some sort of arrangement up front.

But wow. The experience I had was much better than I could have thought, it was a very warm and welcoming! It was friendly, and cozy and more importantly, delicious!

Delicious Mushroom Quiche. Quiche > Waffle.

Boiled eggs, soggy toast and even the waffle iron were far, far from my breakfast table. Instead I was greeted with fresh fruit, a homemade smoothie and a delicious quiche. I mean delicious! And… all included in my night’s stay? Yes.

I am really reconsidering those waffle irons. Really. I mean, I can stay and basically be a part of someone’s home and experience delicious food all along the way. Why would I even consider going back to the waffles or boiled eggs?

I think I have changed, and changed for the better. At least this is what I am telling myself now.


One response

  1. If you stay in a chain, definitely get the free HOT breakfast, son– at least you remember something!! BUT yes, Momma has stayed at a B&B or 2 in the past: nothing can compare. They know how to treat you–you are their livelihood!

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